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  • Writer's pictureThe Fake Guru & The Fake Guru

The Fake Guru

Updated: Nov 10, 2021

I GOTTA GO! I’ll see you later!”

He kisses her on the cheek, double checks his gear and mounts the hot-rod red YAMAHA XSR900. The engine roars as he speeds down the street. He’s excited – but he’s not really there. He left his focus in front of the computer.

He leaves the hospital the next day, both of his arms wrapped in casts. The accident hadn’t been so bad. They’d ordered a pizza directly to the ER while waiting for the X-Ray results to come back; and both the doctors cracked a joke about how unlucky he’d been to break both his wrists in one go:

“One wrist – sure, happens all the time! Mostly from bicycle or skiing accidents. But both wrists at the same time? You ain’t gonna be lifting anything heavy for the next six weeks, that’s for sure.”

And so, they’re home for six weeks and he lets her take care of him. She learns to cook and feeds him. She showers him and helps him get dressed. They go on walks together and visit their families. They watch movies, play video games, and read books. He teaches her chess. It is a magical time.

“This is the best thing that ever happened to me,” he says to her one day, “because it made me realize how fragile life is and that I haven’t been living it in full – or for myself – so far. I haven’t been investing in myself.”

She comes with him to all of his checkups, and at the end of six weeks, when the casts come off, he finally tries to move his still-swollen wrists. He can’t. For the first time, he cries.

“You know – if I ever had a mission in life - if there were ever anything that I’ve been put on this planet to do,” he says to her with tears in his eyes, “then, I think, it would be to inspire people. I don’t know what that means, and I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I don’t want people to make the same mistake that I’ve made. People shouldn’t have to break themselves before they learn how important it is to invest in themselves.”

And so he tries to inspire, and he tries to lead by example, and even though he’s not sure how, he takes on the name: The Fake Guru. A name that no one else wants, a name even, that has negative connotations. But he wears it with pride, and he ploughs ahead, determined to turn it into something powerful, something genuine and something courageous. Something that represents honesty and integrity.

Because that’s the joke, right.

And because what are we in this mad, Online World of ours, if not all Fake Gurus?


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