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  • Writer's pictureThe Fake Guru

The Conspiracy Theorist

Updated: Nov 10, 2021

THE SIGNS were all there. It was so obvious! Why did everyone refuse to see it but him?

For many weeks now he’d been gathering information. Sifting through the data, devouring articles, scouring over blogs and forums online. At this point it was clear and he was convinced: There were few people on the planet who knew as much on the subject as he did – few, who had gathered this much information! Sure, there were the experts, the thought leaders, those at the cutting edge of research. But, as he’d sadly had to learn as an unremarkable bystander from the sidelines: their voices had, swiftly and surely – devastatingly even – been silenced. Their research – undermined. The facts they put on the table – dismissed. And so, now it was up to him.

Sure, he wasn’t operating alone. There were the communities online, the social networks, the in-person meetups, the demos, the gatherings. And yet, he was convinced, no one reeeally meant it like he did. No one reeeally took it as seriously as he did. Sure, people saw the risks, the imminent danger on the horizon, the fact that their freedom was slowly but surely being taken away! – but no one was reeeally willing to do anything about it. No one, but him.

He knew what the people – his friends and family even – had started to call him. Conspiracy Theorist. But he didn’t mind. At least he knew, indubitably: His theory was at the top of the food chain. Yes, there was a food chain, a hierarchy of theories so to speak: Flat Earthers were at the bottom. Or was it the Anti-Gravity Group? Then came the Elvis Is Still Alive Association. The Moon Landing Didn’t Happen Org. was also pretty far down, somewhere on par with Bigfoot. But his theory was right up there, held in the same high esteem as the Kennedy Assassination, Area 51, and, of course, Nessie the Loch Ness Monster.

People were stupid, he’d concluded. People were lazy. People didn’t do proper research anymore, and so they couldn’t see through their laziness, through their stupidity. They couldn’t see that, of everything that had happened, none of it made sense! Nothing added up! And so, if only one were to look at it properly, if only one were to inform oneself, if only one were to connect the dots, if only one were to think critically about the matters at hand!!! - then one would see the patterns and realize, unequivocally: None of it made sense – but really, all of it did!

The signs were all there. It was so obvious! Why did everyone refuse to see it but him? And at this point it was clear and he was convinced: The line between reality and fabrication had become everything but easily distinguishable.


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